Category Archives: Uncategorized

this is our time

Having a musical weekend. 

Johnny Cash. David Bowie. Best Of lists from this past year.

Forgot how much it heals. A welcome reminder. 

When I started photography, I lost my musical drive. 

Now I’m learning to fit in both.

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

sun. or lack thereof.

two straight months of rain does something to your psyche. 
one turns insular. i just want to caccoon and be woken by cherry blossoms. not slip and slide on dead leaves. 

even my cactus died. 

i suppose a temperate rainforest is not the place for such a prickly beast, which was a gift from one of my students. i didn’t have the heart to tell her i kill such things.

even the air plant.

alas, when the sun does emerge we do rejoice. even if only momentarily. 

forever temporary. this life.

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

hello again

To the girls we were in our past lives.

To our egos in the alternate reality.

And the the ones here, on earth, who keep my secrets.

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized, writing

missed connections

You were right.

Those that said I’d be back. 

Those that said I’d miss the words and the connections made here. 

I bow down to you. 

Although I’ve been singing the praises of Tumblr for well over a year now, I must admit, it’s just not doing it for me anymore. The few friendships I’ve managed to cultivate through that site (with the exception of one), have managed to crash and burn and I’ve found it to be an even more transient place then the blogsphere. 

I’ve been pondering why that is. 

I think it has to do with the narrow subject matter of my Tumblr, and how I’m not always writing about everything in my life, which is what I’ve been doing here since 2005. At first it was freeing, having an space where people really didn’t know me. It met the anonymity I had been craving. Yet, as time passed, I started to miss the interactions of this space. I’ve always said a blog comes alive in the comment section. That’s how I’ve gotten to know so many of you. 

Now I know there are so few of you left, the comments almost as sparse as my posts, so what will come of this space now? I’m not sure. But I’m still intrigued to find out. 

For right now, I’m getting ready for a weekend trip to Seattle. Partaking in good friends, good food and of course, good music. Look for an update on Monday.

4 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

look through my window

it’s hard to be here at times.

i find her in every space, even through the physicality of this place has been completely gutted. standing in certain places in the house, thinking i’m going to see her around the corner. smoking her Virginia Slims and drinking her diet pepsi while sorting through the mail. 

yesterday, i was searching for a pair of scissors and uncovered two Polaroid cameras, and a few boxes of film. i couldn’t help but smile. before we’d leave after every visit we’d have to pose for a Polaroid. i wonder whatever happened to those. 

i’m sure they are somewhere. perhaps next to the crinolines. 

Image

self portrait: Pasadena, march 1, 2012

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

it’s time to go home

I made that decision today.

Or this morning. To be specific: 8.34am.

And by home, I mean the east coast. Right now, southern Ontario. 

Sure, the decision may have come from days of exhaustion and the fact I have not been able to keep down food since Saturday. But in my sobbing (yet no tears due to dehydrated state), I realized exactly what I wanted.

I need my family closer, and although I love my friends here, my heart is hurting for the ones on the other side now. 

If I can’t find another job by the end of the year, I am seriously considering quitting and just moving back. 

Something I’ve never considered before today.

Keep your digits crossed some of the leads I have follow through!

5 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

skeptical

I went for my first tattoo removal appointment today.

I went expecting the worse, which I suppose was a good mindset, because I was pleasantly surprised that it didn’t hurt that much. It felt like numerous bee stings, but it was over in about 15 seconds. It hurt for perhaps 20 minutes after, but it’s fine now, just swollen.

However, I’m disappointed with the results. If anything, if looks darker than before. I think it will be years before I’m able to finish treatments (as it’s costly). I’m going to attempt one more in a month, and if I can’t see some results, I’ll probably table it for a while. It can take up to 12 treatments! Although, I wonder if they can actually do it in less, but don’t, so they can charge more money?

One thing is certain, I wish I had a time machine, so I could stop my 16 year old self from getting the damn thing in the first place.

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized