This morning we were assembling shelves and moving artefacts into a new storage space. I was moving between buildings, bundled up in my jacket, hat, gloves, when my stomach started to rumble as it was nearing tea time. I quickly grabbed a pear from my desk and dashed outside with keys in my hand for the other building.
I should mention again that this is the key chain.
So I’m running, as quickly as you can on slippery pavement in torrential rain, pear in one hand, keys in the other and go into the other building to grab a table. It wasn’t overly heavy, but awkward. I soon realise picking up the pear was a bad idea, with a pockletless coat (cute, but not practical). The only solution – stick the pear in my mouth and grab the table and make a run for it. I wasn’t about to make two trips.*
I should also mention at this time I was wearing earplugs because the metal shelving banging on the concrete was not helping my constant tinnitus. Yet to anyone watching me, you couldn’t tell as they were hidden under my hair and hat.
So I lock up the other building and head to my car with the table. I lean it up against the side to unlock the car, and suddenly the wind picks up it up, and as the table is just hard plastic, it goes flying across the parking lot. Did I mention it was windy?
It’s at this point the pear drops out of my mouth, as I start to yell, I attempt to catch it, as I point to my co-worker who has just emerged from the main building – but instead of verbally speaking I just continue to motion and world’s heaviest key chain lodges itself in the air as well. And thanks to many years of baseball I still have a strong-arm. The Cartman key chain flies through the air and my co-worker ducks so it doesn’t hit her, well yelling and gesturing towards me. I, of course, cannot hear her as I still have my earplugs in.
A chocolate lab from the dog park (who walks their dog in torrential rain??) jumps me from the side, presumably mistaking my pear for a tennis ball. Arms flail, leashes tangle and my pear is crushed to the ground in all the commotion.
I would have liked to have been the one watching this unfold.
Perhaps someday I’ll have that luck.
*In hindsight, taking 5 minutes to eat the pear then and there would have been a better solution.