One of the main goals in my writing class is producing a lot of raw material.

We do this through a variety of exercises; writing in condensed periods than taking that material and turning it into something else. Last night at the end of class, we wrote for five minutes and then took the first two lines from what we had just written, and re wrote the on-top of a fresh sheet of paper and passed it to the person to our left.

The goal being they would write the next line, and it would then get passed around the circle until we ended up with our original lines. The hardest part of this exercise (next to reading people’s handwriting) was not the pace, it was trying to fit into the other persons style.

Here’s what I ended up with at the end (first two lines are mine), and I’m now supposed to rework this into a full piece.

Not sure where all the “balance” mentions were coming from. Time to edit.

I’ll post what I rework it into next week.


yet nothing truly tangible to sink my teeth into

tangerine dream me something bright and real

a contrast of adherence, support and balance

an act of balance in an unreal world

teeth in tangerine: sour note slips, splits the airwaves

there is the ubiquitous foot carnage but


my arms are open – fit into them something of blazen red, continuous in its reach – solid like a dream

it’s when i wake up, the hard physical labour begins, hand over hand as i reel the dream in

i see a flicker of a picture and i smell wet floor board

i drag it closer to me and fin only brown and red.



Filed under writing

2 responses to “raw

  1. You have to fit all of those into the new work? Yoiks. My head just exploded. It’s amazing the tangents people take off on.

  2. Yeah, it was supposed to read as one piece, but it clearly needs reworking.

    Still not sure what I’m going to do with it!

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