things that baffle

When I see people parked like this it makes me want to kick something.

I wish I had business sized cards that I could place on the windshield that read:

Thank-you for giving me the opportunity to use the word wankjacket today.



Filed under rants, wankjackets, words

12 responses to “things that baffle

  1. Ha! “wankjacket” is a fantastic word. I agree whole-heartedly with your premise. It would be great to carry around a bunch of pre-made cards that express a range of reactions in response to the willful igorance of others – everything from mild irritation (with an undercurrent of sarcasm) to complete annoyance and/or rage, with liberal use of the word “wankjacket” or other fitting titles.

    I actually feel the same about car horns – wish there was a way to make the horn less ambiguous and more emotionally specific. There should be a distinct sound for “hey, your bumber is about to fall off” or “be careful” vs. “you are a complete and utter wankjacket for cutting me off just now”. This would reduce the incidents of road rage significantly I think.

  2. I just might make some up. I have heaps of card stock lying around, and could put that typewriter to good use. I agree there should be cards for every situation – we should discuss this when we suss out details for the scavenger hunt. ;)

    That would be very helpful wouldn’t? I rarely use my car horn because it doesn’t work that well. If you see anyone on HWY 1 with fist enraged it’s probably me. I find drivers here don’t know the difference between merge and yield – so frustrating.

  3. kelly

    I hope you do make those cards and distribute them as you see fit. I don’t park like that and I agree, it pisses me off to no end. Along with the people who park in the handicapped spots or the women with a gazillion screaming young kids spots. I might come over there and randomly park badly just to get an official Wankjacket card as made by Allison. The only problme is that there are a whack of parking lots in the lower mainland.

    I think they park like that to prevent door dings but I figure if they are that concerned they should go park in the farthest remotest corner of the lot.

  4. ali

    Haha! Worst parking ever, and I say that being a particular expert on the subject or terrible parking. ;-)

    You really don’t have many occasions to use the word wankjacket? Switch places with me for a few days – I’ve got a few people it could be hurled at on a pretty regular basis!

  5. Kelly: Those specific spots tend to have extra space anyway, so that doesn’t bother me, it’s just idiots who take up 3 spaces. I mean, the spots closest to the door are there for a reason right.

    There is an obsession here with speed bumps though – every two feet. The lower mainland is a weird place indeed.

    Ali: You know, I don’t think I’ve ever driven in a car with you. Once, perhaps. It’s not one I use on a daily basis, but definitely a few times a month. So no, not as much as you these days. ;) I did use ‘Asshat’ yesterday and thought of you! Ah memories…

  6. ali

    I’m so glad the phrase ‘asshat’ makes you think of me. ;-)

  7. Well, you know… ;)

  8. A brilliant idea. You ought to sell them!

  9. You really must get those cards typed up! In the meantime though, you could consider doing some therapeutic keying. It sounds like everybody would have your back on that.

  10. Dale: I’ll have to think up some more examples to diversify!

    Barb: I should have. This time my “therapeutic keying” was taking it to the blogs. ;)

  11. If you’ve ever owned a slightly larger than average vehicle then you can see the other side of this coin. I have a year-old Caravan, granted- a family vehicle, but shiny and new until some idiot ran a shopping cart down the side last month.

    But worse was when I had a 4 x4 similar to the one in your photo. Yes, I tried to park way out in the boonies. The inconsiderate idiots still find you and cover your doors with nicks, scratches and dents. People can be thoughtless- even the ones who drive polite little cars and park within their designated spaces.

  12. I have operated an extended Caravan, it’s actually the vehicle I learned how to drive in, and still managed to park it properly. I get that larger vehicles are more tricky to park, but there are usually lots of spaces a little further away, they just never get used.

    Definitely agree that people can be thoughtless regardless – this just happened to be a picture with a larger vehicle!

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