wild card inside

“You’ve changed…you’re so much more mellow, softer? I know it’s you, but I just can’t believe these things are coming out of your mouth.”

This past week through catch-ups over tea, and long distance phone calls with three good friends that sentence above was something I kept hearing, over and over. These are people who have known me for years and years, and have seen me through many different stages and changes in life, so what was so perplexing to them now?

I’d have to say the most hilarious repeated phrase this week was:

“I guess I’ve been used to seeing you so jaded for so long, it’s weird to see the difference. It’s wonderful…just different.”

My response to all of that of course was laughter and listing the points where I haven’t changed. Yet I couldn’t help but wonder, have I really changed that much? Perhaps my hard outer shell has soften, but I think it’s been for the better. I’m still a jolly cynic, these days just more jolly than cynical.

Perhaps it’s because I have been listening to ‘pop’ radio again on my drives into the city?

Yeah, we’ll say it’s that.

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6 Comments

Filed under choices, friends, life

6 responses to “wild card inside

  1. I think every person has wild card inner.

  2. I like to think so too. :)

  3. Don’t dismiss the the impact of pop music to lighten your outlook – I’m listening to some buoyant power pop courtesy of The Apples In Stereo right now and my bad case of the doldrums just left the building in a hurry.

    Good to hear that you are becoming a big ol’ softy (don’t think I didn’t notice which songs you were humming along to at Billy Bragg!). Sounds like there are some good things going on for you.

  4. Well, if you can call 100.5 pop…but it defintely has some upbeat qualities to it. And you’re right, the perfect tune can lift clouds in a hurry. It’s that damn Feist song – I Feel It All. Gets stuck in my head! ;)

    Ha ha! I’ve been outed on all fronts. There certainly are, it’s a nice change!

  5. I wouldn’t want you to become a marshmallow or anything like that, but there is something positive about having the hard shell soften a bit as you gain more life experiences. It speaks to a willingness to accept what is being offered. And that is always a good thing.

  6. I don’t think you have to worry, I’ll always keep the marshmallowness in check. ;) But you are right, change is good, growth and all that… ;)

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