you go on ahead

I’ve been feeling kind of defeated lately. For a variety of reasons, and I haven’t really been writing or talking about things to many others, thinking to myself and mainly just keeping my head down trying to get through each day. Yet, the funny thing with thoughts is that they eventually fill your head and if you don’t let them out you find yourself tossing and turning all night until finally it’s the middle of the night and the glow of the computer screen is lighting the room as you pound away at the keys just in some hope you’ll get some silence at the end of it.

No, just me?

Anyway, I haven’t been feeling that well physically these days. Actually, that’s an understatement. Shooting pain everywhere – morning, noon and night, basically. Hopefully there are some answers to be had at the end of this week in that department, as it’s been extremely frustrating, and completely draining.

Then there’s the job, which…how shall I put this? Isn’t exactly what I was expecting. It’s been really hard, and to be honest, I’ve been quite miserable. But I’m going to stick with it, because, because well because I just am. We all have to suck it up at some point don’t we? Also circumstances may be changing there soon, and the outcome could be huge. It also means I will probably have to stay on longer than expected, which means staying out West longer. In turn putting life back East on hold. Again.

There are a whole other list of things I could write about here that also fill up my head between these two major things.

However, there is also another list. You know, the stuff that gets you through the day. Like choosing a dog breed, talks of buying a bakery, looking at houses, etc, etc, etc.

And it’s a good thing I have stuff to look forward to, can make silly lists, and have friends to eat sushi with here and now, because the realization that our house will have to be one level, as I may not be able to make it up stairs makes me wanna grab for some sake, and a glass to clink with is always welcome.

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9 Comments

Filed under silver linings

9 responses to “you go on ahead

  1. It’s hard enough having weldschmertz and I can completely sympathise with how that takes over your world. But quite another to have to deal with physical pain as well, especially when you have been putting up with it for so long. I really hope that this week brings some answers, a beginning to the end.

    Keep thinking dogs and bakeries!

  2. Me too, me too. At least it’s warmer back East this week, as that seems to help ease the pain. Get through today, and then no more stairs for a week. ;)

  3. ali

    Hang in there! Things will get better soon; they always do. :-)

  4. iduality

    In most categories, yes. :)

  5. bloody awful poetry

    Aww.. hang in there. It will get better. Take comfort in cakes and puppies. And like Vonnegut said, no matter how shitty life gets, the music will always be wonderful.
    Something like that anyway – I’m just taking liberties. Take care =)

  6. iduality

    Well put, thanks for the encouragement! :)

  7. bakery sales and puppy-dog tails
    sushi and tea
    sound just fine to me
    as you save dollars and cents
    for that white picket fence
    so cheer up friend-
    it’ll be grand in the end
    ;-)

  8. Love this, put a nice smile on my face! Thanks, friend. :)

  9. liz

    hope you are feeling a bit better these days, my friend! it has been a month of odd sorts, indeed. maybe i will go make a gingerbread house now …. :D

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