Dear Reader (can you tell I’ve been reading too much Stephen King?),
I find myself hovering over the type recently.
It always takes me awhile to adjust to change, and this is the first time ever I’ve stepped away from writing about it. This blog has been a get outlet for me, especially during the past few years. Take a look through the archives if you don’t believe me. Perhaps as we grow older its more about inward reflection, or perhaps I just don’t want to type it out, because that makes it real. And if its real, there’s a chance I’ll get hurt.
Often times I write the most when I’m woebegone. Its hard to make good art when you’re happy, don’t you think? Not that this is art, its blogging, but generally speaking. I’m working on this painting at the moment, and it’s the first time that I can remember where I’m not painting with someone in mind, or painting to get out a bad feeling. Its almost as though I am moving backwards, to move forward. Painting a version of a still life to get back to the root. The first thing I ever remember drawing in art school was a pot, with vegetables. Actual fruit must have been to expensive, I guess. So it feels a bit awkward, and yet liberating to get back to this place of just being.
I have not been sad for quite some time now, and its an odd feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I’m also a very happy person (outwardly) but there was a time when the sheets were used as tissues, more often then I’d like to admit. Its funny because I’m very positive person, for others, yet when the table is turned to me, I’m a complete pessimist. I think we’re all a bit like that. But why? Is it because we don’t want to let ourselves be happy? Don’t think we deserve it? I’m not sure. But I am happy and things are good. Yes, things are good…and I’m happy. There said it. Fact.
So, this is me writing from a different state, and I apologize if its awkward and not as sharp as I’ve been in the past, but I’m trying. Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to go listen to the new Doves records and cut out paper wings for these owls I’m painting. Retro owls, if your wondering.