One of my childhood friends is coming to visit me next weekend. She is staying for a week and we’re touring the South of England, coming back up to Newcastle and then heading north to Scotland.
I have mixed feelings about her visit. Part of me is excited and part of me is filling with anxiety. Anxiety for a number of reasons but the main one being the last time we traveled together it ended in a huge fight over religion. It was on my 18th birthday and things really haven’t been the same since.
I went away to Kingston, then Vancouver and this past summer was really the only time we reconnected again. We kept in touch over the years, sure but nothing overly substaintial. We’ve excepted each others differences, sort of, we just don’t talk about them. Heh. It makes for limited conversation sometimes.
I know the trip will be okay and it will be fun to venture into new parts of the UK but all these feelings I’d repressed from adolescence have been popping back up over the past few weeks and now I’ve got a giant knot in my stomach. I spent so much when I was younger not voicing my opinions on anything or having anyone to share in my interests it got kind of lonely at times. I had friends who didn’t enjoy the things I did, which is okay, but E, in particular sometimes just didn’t except them.
So, you might be asking why are we still friends? Truthfully, I’m not sure. I think we’ve remained in touch because we don’t know how not to, if that makes any sense. Or maybe I’m holding onto a part of myself where everything was easy and the biggest worry was who brought dinner to watch 90210. I dunno.
What were you doing at 15?
8 Comments
March 5, 2008 at 12:36 am
Well I hope you have an amazing trip, despite any differences…and that you two can reconnect in a new way :O) Hmm at age 15 I moved out of my parents house…can’t really recall what I was doing except maybe being a little bad ass. :O(
March 5, 2008 at 12:54 am
Maybe time has mellowed you both out and things won’t be so on-edge – or maybe you just need to steer clear of the religious banter. ;) Might I suggest politics instead?? :P
At 15 I was looking for, and starting my first real job – who knew that the following 5+ years of my life would be spent at Zellers?? Ahh, the memories.
March 5, 2008 at 2:53 am
I hope that at least the sightseeing will keep you both so busy and fulfilled that you don’t feel any uncomfortable voids in the conversation. Although of course it would be best if you could really connect, but that sounds like it’s just not in the cards.
At 15 I went to the bar for the first time and tried to be skanky.
March 5, 2008 at 5:29 am
I hope things go well.
At 15 I was pretty much just getting beat up for being a “(insert sexual preference slur here)”, because I looked different.
Not happy days at all.
On a lighter note, today is a good day to be a pirate if you like Gnarls Barkley or Tapes ‘N Tapes. Which I do. Kinda put the icing on my cake.
March 5, 2008 at 9:52 am
Mel: I think now that I’ve finished booking everything the stress will start to fade. Ah, you under the exterior of sweet Mel there is a little bad ass…good to know. ;)
Todd: You would. I still can’t believe you, Ali and I managed a conversation covering all that and are still speaking.
Hehe – well I worked at a local late night coffee place (hint – sugar twin is only offered there) from 15 to 18. The memories, indeed. ;)
Barb: I think its going too. We’ve got a lot packed into 7 days. I think we’re just at different places, but who knows anythings possible.
You and Mel, bad asses. :)
Fearless: Thanks, me too.
I always wonder about those who look back on high school as the glory days. For most its similar to what you’ve described. I can’t say I was getting beat up, but names sometimes hurt just as much.
I enjoyed the first single off Tapes ‘N Tapes, I’ll have to look for it later, thanks for the heads up!
March 6, 2008 at 12:00 am
It occurred to me that I don’t know you well enough to say whether you were the religious one or she was…
On that same topic- I discovered the subgenius religion today (see Wikipedia) Bloody brilliant! I think I may sign up, send in my 30 bucks to become an ordained minister… ;-)
March 6, 2008 at 4:31 am
Heehee, Ya… we bad *G*
March 6, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Whitenoise: The less religious one. :)
I hadn’t heard of it either, but it was interesting learning about it!
Mel: You are, you are. :)